Exhausted

I think all the stress and tension that went into the lead up to my birthday has just hit me. Sounds strange but I have been rather stressed about loosing weight with yesterday being the "big day". Gawd that sounds so sad doesn't it?

I feel like I have been run over by a bus. I am tired well actually exhausted. I would love to just curl up in bed and sleep for a few weeks. No idea why this has hit me so hard or why I feel so tired. I have been eating pretty well. The week end eventually caught up with me this morning and I am up frigging 700 grams *gag*. Was nice that my body didn't reflect it yesterday, I am guessing this *blegh* mood has some thing to do with the weight gain.

Anyhoo birthday over the rest of my life of calorie restricting ahead. Planning meals, counting every gram of food, daily weigh in's, exercise oh and more exercise. Some times I wonder what it is all about, why bother? No matter how low my calorie intake my stupid body just decides to pick up weight. Upping my daily intake just makes me feel like crap. Every one keeps saying "but how can you only eat 700 cal per day??" Well the answer is if I give my god damned body any more it bloody shows on the scale.

Why can I not maintain my weight with a slightly higher calorie intake? I can understand having to restrict to loose weight but now why do I have to restrict to such a point just to keep my weight stable? I don't understand ...