Frustration

I have gained weight ... I have gone up almost 2 pounds in the past few days and the only reason I can think of is my gawd-damed period.

I feel depressed, I feel bloated and I feel completely defeated. I have no strength ... I just want to cry. I feel like all the work I have done in the past weeks is coming unravelled. I could see it creeping up on me yesterday. I was good I had less than 500 cal for the entire day. I exercised but it did no good ... the fat crept up and bit my ass.

I hate that my mood is so affected by the digits on that scale. I woke up this morning in such a bad mood ... I just knew I should not get on the scale that I had gained weight. I can feel it in my face. I feel like I have chip monk cheeks. My confidence has departed, I feel like a blimp.

The worst part of all of this is I cannot get back on track ... I cannot cope, I cannot deal with food right now. I cannot deal with eating. I know I have to and I have to eat my way through this because the alternative is not a place I want to go to.

Please give me the strength to just not think today, to not have this obsession ...