Creeping up on me

Not sure if any one actually reads here but ANYHOOOO here is an update and long in the coming.

My out of control eating habits have eventually caught up with me *sigh* and I have started CRON more stringently and have made promises to myself to keep up with it this time around. No off days, no well perhaps tomorrow days, every day is a CRON day!

Considering the copious amounts of food and calories I have been consuming I have 2-3 kg's (4.4 - 6.6pounds) to loose to get back to the point where I feel comfortable again in my own skin. Right now I feel like a tub-o-lard. I can simply not even imagine that I EVER weighed 5-7 kg's (11 - 15.4 pounds) more than I currently weigh OMG that is just shocking.

So *gulp* as of this morning I weigh in at 44.2 kg's (97.2 pounds). Howly crap how did that happen? I am almost back where I started in March.

This is definitely not water weight or "one of those days" because the new clothes I bought for my new body are now fairly tight on me ... so this is FAT .... not muscle because I have NOT been exercising this is simply put 2.5kg's (5 pounds) of FAT and it needs to go.

The Vicious cycle

The cycles that our body plays on us I have found is determined by weather. Warm weather means your body almost craves low fat, low sugar foods ... cold weather means your body craves high calorie "comfort" food. The cycle of summer and winter and the cycle of lean and *cough* padded. It is the body's natural rhythm of things, the way the body keeps it's self warm and "hibernates" ... we are less active on cold days and the body stores food during this cycle.

When the weather warms up it is time to be active, hunt and gather, the body needs to go into the lean and muscular phase where it is fit and strong.

Breaking the cycle of hibernation is a hard one ... we as humans have evolved into a rather lazy creature that has every thing on hand ... we no longer hunt and gather, we whip out a credit card and shop on line. We no longer use our bodies for the purpose intended, we use machines to mass produce our goods. We no longer sustain farm and we no long have a need to ride horses or run for miles to meet basic needs. For this we have developed into some thing our minds don't understand.

Many of us wish to be thin ... yet the cycle of hibernation can never be broken. We are simply too lazy to even walk down to the local shop.

If we listen to our bodies ... really listen to what it tells us and discipline it when it gets a little crazy, have the self discipline and ability to say "NO" occasionally, try to use our bodies in a more active way, we could all be turning the table on the fat cycle.

The wobbely CRON

I have to admit that I wobble when it comes to CRON ... I don't think it is at all possible to stick to such a stringent eating plan ones entire life. So as a compromise I have given myself permission to eat "bad" over week ends and "healthy" during the week.

I have always kind of stuck to this theory, my entire life and it seems to have worked out quite well for me.

My weight still hovers around the 42.8 - 43.5kg (94.2 - 95.7 pounds) mark. I would like to get back below 42kg's (92 pounds) but to be honest hubby LOVES my body the way it is now ... I have BOOBS!!! HA!

I have always found though that once summer comes along I naturally drop a kg or two so it will be interesting to see what happens this year with my lower weight. I have also found a correlation between the craving for chocolate and cold weather. My will power simply fades as soon as it starts raining LOL. I think the main thing is just keeping a check on my weight and simply just NOT letting it get above say 43.5kg's which I seem to have been pretty successful at doing this winter.

Funny enough though as soon as the sun comes out I crave exercise, fruit and salad! Bring on summer please ...

Zighausted

I am working too hard ... that's about all I can say.

Weight as of this morning 42.8kg's (94.2 pounds) ... I am trying to stick to a healthy CRON diet.

I fell over the other day and ate an entire cake ... the entire THING ... shocking, also I had a few glasses of wine. A few too many glasses of wine on a few too many days.

Some times this "thin thing" can be a little annoying but with all my "badness" my poor body has seemed to cope ... god bless it's little cotton socks. However I can certainly feel when I have been eating badly and when I get back to healthy eating again, goodness what a difference.

I have just assisted a friend by drawing up a calendar & eating plan for a month. I hope it works for her but I don't know if she has the discipline ... so I tried to make it into a bit of a competition with her ... she is rather competitive. I just don't know how much of a competition it is when she has 20kg's (44 pounds) to loose and I only have 2kg's (4.4 pounds) ... hmmmm

OK ... back to work I go.

Breaking the habbit

I am day 3 into the "back to CRON" seriously. I have already parted company with 1 pound ... obviously water weight but still I am already feeling so much better. Again my night sweating has totally stopped, I feel lighter and have more energy.

Chocolate and I have parted company, I think this has been my biggest issue quite frankly, I became a chocoholic over the past weeks. Breaking this habit has been harder than giving up alcohol LOL. I am being strong, I know only 3 days but I have the will power ... well at least I think I do hahaha! The motivation right now is not waking up with drenched bed sheets and of course that feeling of funk that comes in it's wake. I have not really had a craving for chocolate yet.

I still have "issues" surrounding food. I have no problem not eating but once I start I simply cannot stop. I think this has to be addressed and I have no idea why this huge appetite / compulsive "over eating" is an issue. Again this is another cause of the night sweating and feeling of lethargy. Once I go into huge amounts of calories during the day my body tries to cope by over heating at night.

Right now I am feeling a lot better 42.8kg's (94.2 pounds) and counting down. I think I could nail it back to 41kg's (90 pounds) in 4 weeks ... then I start all over again trying to find a balance to maintain.

Ohhhhh so thats why

That time of the month arrived ... it always comes as a bit of a surprise, as I am so irregular and don't use contraceptives.

Again this is a very good reason for the weight gain, a little water retention, chocolate cravings and a general feeling of funk HA! So although I have been pretty good keeping my calories around 1500 my weight has remained stubbornly at 43.2kgs (95pounds). I think it should go much better after as I usually loose my gigantic appetite and cravings.

So I guess technically the diet starts on Monday ... well the serious "I have to get rid of the flab". I hope too that I will get more exercise in. I really really want to turn the flab back into muscle. So far I have managed a fair amount of Tennis on the Wii so that has been good. I really want to start walking again in the mornings. Although the weather has been pretty good the flu is threatening a re-run. I have been taking my multi-vits, drinking loads of water and I got some extra sleep this morning. I usually sleep 6 hours a night but managed 8 which I think my body really needed.

It astounds me how quickly ones body can loose it's shape with out working on it constantly. Just a tiny little break and I feel like crap!

Back to CRON

After a very busy and very food filled week end I started the week at 43.8kg's (96.4pounds) ... shocking I know, this is almost the weight I was when I started this blog 4 months ago. I have been doing a higher calorie CRON (around 1500 calories) since Monday and today I am down to 43.2kgh's (95 pounds). It seems the past two months of not doing CRON have really caught up with me and I have obviously been eating in the 3000 calorie per day region and with no exercise, I am going to have to work pretty damn hard over the next few weeks to drop these 2kg's and get back to my "happy" weight of 41kg's (90 pounds).

Next week I will lower my calorie intake to around 1000 as I don't want to shock my body too drastically this week after such a high intake. I am working on around a loss of 1.5-2 kg's over the next 4-6 weeks. That works out to around 500grams (1 pound) per week. This time line is really dependant on how the "fat" I have gained has been stored. It took me 2 months to get back up to this weight so my body has gradually been storing excess fat. I also hope to start working out again, to try to turn some of this fat back into muscle. My exercise regime has really fallen flat and I can see my muscle deterioration.

The thing is if I don't start working on it NOW I will have a whole lot more weight to loose down the line. This is really the only way to STAY thin ... keeping a check on ones weight and taking action before it becomes impossible to budge.